The Black Dress

Fellas have you ever noticed how many Black Dresses a female OWNS? we are assuming the answer most likely would be no, you should pay attention because every single BLACK DRESS serves a purpose. She owns anywhere from 2-6 of them (depending on the level of woman she is) and each dress is cut differently and accentuates a different part of her body . There is one just to show her back, one to show her legs, one just for cleavage, so on and so forth BUT then there is that BLACK DRESS. THE HOLY GRAIL OF BLACK DRESSES. This BLACK DRESS is the dress that states I AM SINGLE FOR THE NIGHT, fellas if you have a significant other, boo, shorty or (insert random title here) then this is the BLACK DRESS you do not want to see. Be afraid be very afraid, once this BLACK DRESS comes out of the closet she just told you "tonight imma do me boo boo, imma do me". We can tell some of our male readers are lost and do not know what this LEGENDARY BLACK DRESS looks like or what its capabilities are, we are here to help

It is the dress that makes her legs looking longer by showing MORE of them

It is the dress that shows the right amount of cleavage

It is the dress that shows the small of her back

It is the dress the makes her arms look a little nicer

It is the dress the accentuates all of the positive features of her body while hiding the negatives, the unwanted.

YES!!!! Fellas this one single dress can accomplish all of these things, NO ONE DRESS SHOULD HAVE ALL THIS POWER

Now we know our male readers are confused and we can already hear your question. WHEN AND WHY WOULD SHE WEAR SUCH A DRESS ? Well this may be difficult to read but she brings out this dress when YOU, YES YOU have pissed her off beyond belief. SO she chooses to go partying and unwind with her friends while you sit there confused as to what you have done wrong trying desperately to figure it out. When she pulls this specific BLACK DRESS out of her closet just PRAY and ask her for forgiveness because SHE IS SINGLE FOR THE NIGHT.

As always...

IF YOU KNEW BETTER YOU WOULD DO BETTER. DONT WEAR UGGZ IN SHOE WEATHER