We once heard
BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER,we are convinced that some of you are blind.
So, some of you think that because it's winter you don't need to shave your legs, armpits, and lady parts. Filthy! Who do you think you are? Why do you find it acceptable for you to compete with the hair on my legs? WE DONT WANT TO FEEL YOUR STUBBLE! No matter what Mr. Nice Guy says he finds all of that hair under your pits disgusting. We understand that the upkeep is tiring, but it is a MUST. Remember in elementary school when someone wrote on the chalkboard and it made that horrible screech and you felt it in your bones? That's the feeling your hairy body gives us. You make our skin crawl, and we hate you.
You want us to be well groomed, no? Well doesn't it start with the man in the mirror? (We use "Man In the Mirror" because your lackluster maintenance brings you closer to manliness every day). We do not want to look at you and notice the hair on your legs, ARMPIT and for some...YOUR FACIAL HAIR (the mustache has to go). Now we are not saying it is your fault for being hairy...it's genetics, we get it. However, it is your fault why it has not been shaved.
You disgust me hairy lady.
Next topic: WEIGHT
This may be a sensitive subject but you need to hear this. We do not care how much he loves you, that does not mean you are allowed to get fat now because you HAVE A MAN!!!! Do not get too comfortable. He fell for you when you were 130lbs! He will not find you that sexy when you reach 180 and more and you are only 5'4? Stop acting like you are allergic to that treadmill. The sweat in your side fat is gross. (insert Darth Vader breathing)
Skinny Jeans?
Next topic: "I MISS YOU"
Text Message Convo.....
Girl: Hey baby.
Guy: Wassup luv.
Girl: Nothin I was just thinkin about you and us.
Guy: Really? What about us?
Girl: How great we are together :) I miss you sooooo much baby.
Guy: Awwww. That's so cute.
Girl: ?????? so you're not gonna say it back?
WHAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!? Why when you miss us we gotta miss you back? That's stupid. Don't expect the feelings of you and your man to be synchronized ladies. Don't force the issue. The problem here is you say something and expect a certain response. All your doing is setting up an argument.
Quick blurbs (we'll get back to this in other posts.)
- Do not use my tooth brush THAT VERY NASTY, it is MY tooth brush not ours.
- Do not kiss me in the morning. It's disrespectful. We do not care how sexy you are your breath still stinks. You want sex you turn around no face to face contact.
- If your toes are disgusting do not wear anything open toes. You know what...go to Walmart and just buy new toes, they have everything in there.
Now we know this post maybe a little harsher and intense than some of our previous ones. Sometimes there is no nice way to say things. This is the only way to get the message across. CUT THE SHIT OUT!!!!
IF YOU KNEW BETTER YOU WOULD DO BETTER. DON'T WEAR UGGZ IN SHOE WEATHER!
